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So the whole time I've read the Twilight books, I've had this image of how Carlisle looks, but no idea where it comes from. But it came to me last week, at last, just who I've based him off in my mind, and thus why the person they chose for movie Carlisle bugs me so bad.



Hah, do you see my disconnect? If you are using one of the great characters in anime/manga as a reference, everything else pales. Silly me.

But come to think about it, Trisha makes a better Renesmee, in every way. And not just in appearance, in characterization too.



Does Hohenheim Make a Better Carlisle?

Yes
2(66.7%)
No
0(0.0%)
No, he's to oooooold
0(0.0%)
Don't EVEN bring FMA into this; what did FMA ever do to you?
1(33.3%)


Does Trisha Make a Better Esme?

Yes
2(66.7%)
No
0(0.0%)
Trisha no, Sloth most definitely yes
0(0.0%)
Again, will ya knock it off with the FMA comparisons? FMA is a thousand times better than this Twilight crap.
1(33.3%)

Audiobook Addtion

So when things get slow at work I listen to books on tape-- I admit with great shame that I own all of this series on audiobooks.

Bella is read by Ilyana Kadushin and Jacob is read by Matt Walters-- I looked far and wide for a clip with Matt, but alas you will have to purchase the audio to hear him as Jacob.

Anyways, thisCollapse ) fandom sercet made me realize, that a) Kevin Bacon was the voice actor of Balto and b) he was WAY better than Matt Walter in the voice acting department. Hence "a better Edward" audio addition.



Does Kevin Bacon make a better voice actor for Jacob?

Hell YES!!!
1(33.3%)
Not even close
0(0.0%)
You actually listen to audiobooks?
0(0.0%)
Kevin Bacon-- wasn't he the guy off Footloose?
0(0.0%)
Anyone up for a game of 6˚ of separation?
2(66.7%)
PS: Not my fandom secret-- but I wish to hell it was-- I love Kevin for other entirely bizarre reasons.

So I'm reading the leaked chapters of Midnight Sun, which proves I guess that my penchant for self-loathing has no end, and came across Edward using the cliche "Saved by the Bell" line in the first chapter. (FYI Meyer, just because your character jokes about using a horrible cliche, does not ever justify you using it. For serious. Because you still chose to write it and put it in. Just saying.) and I thought, because I am really tired and brain dead, saved by the bell. . . like the TV show. . . wait a second. . .

So I submit for you all that Mark Paul Gosselaar would make a better Edward.



Continue Reading about Mark & Saved by the BellCollapse )

Does Mark Paul Goselaar Make a Better Edward?

Yes
4(100.0%)
No
0(0.0%)
Sorry, can't answer you right now, give me a moment; I've just been hit by a sudden wave of SBTB nostalgia and am waiting for it to pass.
0(0.0%)


Do the SBTB Cast Make a Better Twilight Cast?

Yes
1(25.0%)
No, Twilight is way too cheesy compared to SBTB
1(25.0%)
No, SBTB is way to cheesy compared to Twilight
0(0.0%)
No, but the idea of a very special Twilight episode, where Bella gets addicted to caffeine pills, would be really, really awesomefunny
2(50.0%)
The more important question is, which character would Screech be?
0(0.0%)

I was wondering if any Venture Brothers characters would fit in the Twilight universe, and had a brainstorm.

A Young David Bowie would SO make a better Edward.



Continue Reading About David BowieCollapse )

Does a Young David Bowie Make a Better Edward?

Yes
10(76.9%)
No
1(7.7%)
Are You Serious?
2(15.4%)


Does Middle-Aged/Older David Bowie Make a Better Carlisle?

Yes
8(88.9%)
No
1(11.1%)
But he's so ooooold.
0(0.0%)


But does David Bowie, at any age, make a good Twilight vampire?

Yes
3(27.3%)
No
0(0.0%)
No, he will always be Ziggy Stardust to me.
0(0.0%)
No, he wil always haunt my nightmares as Jareth, the Goblin King.
3(27.3%)
No, he will always be the beloved Sovereign of the Guild.
1(9.1%)
No, I refuse to let Meyer get her claws into my beloved Bowie.
4(36.4%)
I submit Hayden as a better Edward.



Now, before you stab my eyes out, just hear me. Hayden's portrayal of Edward would surely have assured us of a slow, painful death for the movie franchise. (After all, at least Robert can act.) And isn't that what all of us are sort of rooting for? Ergo, he be perfect Edward.

Would Hayden Christensen Make a Better Edward?

Yes
7(63.6%)
No
0(0.0%)
(Rolls Eyes)
4(36.4%)

Even Hazuki Would Make a Better Renesmee

It struck me that because Renesmee is just this creepy, too pefect Mary Sue (and, no matter how Meyer justifies it, her tie with Jacob is far too one-sided and loli to be an ideal relationship), it might be hard to find someone to represent her. But hooray, it struck me that the equally creepy vampire Hazuki from Moon Phase might just be the perfect candidate.



Read more About HazukiCollapse )

Does Hazuki Make a Better Renesmee?

Yes
2(40.0%)
No
0(0.0%)
Both characters are both too creepy to even vote on; pass.
3(60.0%)

I submit Simon Tam from Firefly as a better Edward-- purely in the look department, but he's also smart, a doctor (SM has stated that Edward periodically attends med school to keep Carlisle up to date on the latest trends in medicine) but he also has no real sense of humor and a stick up his ass, sorry I mean an undying devotion to his loved ones.






Does Simon make a better Edward?

Yes
5(71.4%)
No
2(28.6%)
So on the front page of my Yahoo news, there is a ridiculous article about a Paraguayan javelin thrower named Leryn Franco. Because she won the gold? No. Broke a work record? Nope. Because he has an amazing backstory that must be shared with the world? You're kidding, right? This is news journalism, so of course our hard-hitting reporters are on her story for one all-consuming purpose: she's a hottie. And they admit it.



Continue Reading About Leryn FrancoCollapse )

Does Leryn Franco Make a Better:

Emily
3(50.0%)
Leah
1(16.7%)
Neither; I just don't think she's right for either part.
1(16.7%)
Neither. Girl, pick real actors next time.
1(16.7%)
So I'm minding my own business, trying to find RP pics for a better header for our better Edward site, and I stumble across a petition site that made me laugh:

Continue Reading About Crazy FansCollapse )

Again, My Brain Hurts. So many Betters!

Sorry for the bevy of long posts; I'm going to try to fix my inability to keep it sort, or at least look up again how to do LJ cuts.

So I was wracking my brains over any characters in anime/manga that would make good Edwards, and remembered another series by Bisco Hatori (of Host Club fame) that was, also, coincidentally, about vampires: Sennen no Yuki, also known as Millenium Snow or A Thousand Years of Snow. I got to read the first chapter a year or so ago when it debuted in Shojo Beat, and remembered it being very beautiful and engrossing. I never got to the read the rest but plan to soon.

Anyway, I decided to see if the characters would be better and, lo and behold, they are. Here is a cover pic of Tōya Kanō and Chiyuki Matsuoka, the vampire and the human girl who stumbles into his world, respectively. Naturally, they are the perfect Edward and Bella.



Continue Reading & VotingCollapse )

Does Toya Makes a Better Edward?

Yes
5(100.0%)
No
0(0.0%)


Does Chiyuki Makes a Better Bella?

Yes
4(80.0%)
No
1(20.0%)


Satsuki Makes a Better:

Jasper
1(33.3%)
Jacob
1(33.3%)
Neither. Wow, you are waaaaay off.
0(0.0%)
Both. He combines the best of both characters to create a new super-hybrid of the two. Duh.
1(33.3%)


Does Millenium Snow/A Thousand Years of Snow Makes a Better Twilight?

Yes
6(100.0%)
No
0(0.0%)
How dare you imply Meyer rips off work, hack. You will die in the deepest fiery pit of hell.
0(0.0%)